Random stuff and useless ideas

(via brienis)

I think I’m going to start an “I just vomited in my mouth and I made a pretty painting out of the bile” website. thanks.

Edit: maybe she will trade with me… or do I have to make mine out of semen?

On one side of the room, there are these incredibly funny, smart women that are just telling jokes, having fun and being cool. I know it’s the internet and the photos could come from anywhere but I’ve always been a “glass half full” kind of guy and, well, I believe that people look like the photos they put in their avatars. Not all of them, I just mean the actual photos of people. If we take that assumption you could easily argue that these women don’t look bad at all… in fact some of them are downright pretty!

The common theme with them is that they are not with a guy/need to get laid/haven’t had sex in a long time/want a relationship/etc along the same lines.

Now, on the OTHER side of the room, I have my guy friends, most of whom are single. Also very smart, very funny (although not as funny as the ladies on average) (just sayin’) and going by the same assumption that we put forth for the ladies, not so bad looking either.

With all this social networking, communication and conversing I thought at some point you would all get together and, to keep this PG, make each other carnally happy. Yet I don’t see this happening.

Condoms are cheap so….what’s the deal?

It doesn’t get much better than this.

sarkastickunt:

bitexlouise:

(via staree)

This made me laugh, then made me examine why I found it funny, whether it was an insecurity that made me laugh or some kind of power trip and then I saw my wife bring bacon in from the other room which made me forget what I was thinking about at which point I saw the post again and it made me laugh. Reblogs for you.

4:30 AM: Dog one jumps of the bed and can’t jump high enough to get back up. Pacing on the hard wood floor and grunting until human one picks him up.

5:00 AM: Dog one jumps off of the bed and looks at door like he has to go potty. Human one takes him out back. Nothing.

5:03 AM: Middle finger number 1 to dog one.

5:15 AM: Dog two wakes up to find dog one standing on her. Growling and nipping ensues.

5:16 AM Dog one jumps off bed and can’t jump high enough to get back up. Pacing ensues.

5:16:08 Middle finger number 2 to dog one.

5:30 AM: Dog one needs water. Human one goes to get dog one water, which he gulps down.

5:35 AM: peace from dog one, dog two, human one, human two.

5:37 AM: Dog one needs to go potty (again).

5:42 AM: Human two take dog one to potty, pees a river and comes back.

5:45 AM: dogs and humans quite in bed.

5:53 AM: Dog two adjusts her position knocked dog one off the bed. Dog one can’t jump up on bed, pacing ensues.

5:55 AM: Dog one is lifted on to the bed where he stands there wagging his tail.

6:00 AM Dog one is still standing there wagging his tail.

6:07 AM DOG ONE IS STILL STANDING THERE WAGGING HIS TAIL!

6:10 AM Human two takes dog one out to potty, brings dog one back. Dog one falls asleep.

6:15 AM: Both dogs up and wagging tails.

6:20 AM: humans remember the dogs have no idea what the fuck a daylights saving is and its time to eat.

6:27 AM: Both dogs: sound asleep. Both humans: wide awake. Middle finger number 3 to dogs.

Besides, then I could point up into the sky occasionally and scream “holy flying fucking hotdog” every once in a while.

Which would be totally cool.

Admit it, you would love that.

Can someone explain to me why my normally well adjusted, cute little baby girl puppy dog has been relentlessly humping the new toy we just gave her?

It’s where all the cool kids, unicorns and normal people hang out, apparently.

suicideblonde:

Jean-Baptiste Greuze (1725 – 1805)

Late 18th century nipslip

So if you have not seen this yet check it out. I somehow made it on the Maxim list of 100 twitter accounts every guy should follow. I am honored beyond imagination, especially considering the level of talent in my feed. Thanks for the inspiration and patience in dealing with my typos, grammar errors and just plain laziness, you guys all rock!

puzzld:

Just chillin with a little goddess as newsually.

No words, just a reblog in awe.

ladymisskate:

shoelust:

via style x jak&jil

Daaaaaamn.

I just came.

It’s one thing to stand in them, another to walk in them.

polar-bear:

terrybain:

theduty:

ULTIMATE Teabagger’s Interview.

promise this is the last i will say of this shit.

…because this will say it all.

Duty Say So.

So say we all!

it’s a shame, but ignorance falls on both sides of the debate. I’ve only met a few people that could string together a good, fact based argument on either side of this issue.

The only difference is that the red necks have no idea what, THE FUCK, youtube is.

girlvanized:

bluecrab:

factualfiction:

This is long, but an important lesson. I’m glad I took the time to read to the end:

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money, but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

Findings:

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theatre in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the Metro Station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and people’s priorities.

The questions raised: “In a common place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?”

Conclusion reached from this experiment: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…. How many other things are we missing?

He sounds like an amazing artist. maybe it was not what he was playing, but where he was playing it.  If its cold out and I’m already pushing late for work even if britney spears from the hit me baby era were to time travel and do that routine in the subway for me I probably would not have time to stop. I would give her at least a dollar though. Also, I think a lot of people (not all, but a lot) go to those shows and pay 100 dollars not for the entertainment but for the social status/bragging rights.  I’ve been to a lot of high end events where people just sit there on their blackberries telling everyone who isn’t there how awesome the event is.

For most people, talent is a luxury, not something that is given priority on a day to day timeframe, especially if the talent is not related to the daily activities.  I think this is a major human (and possibly American) flaw and it’s probably part of the reason why art and artistic expression has been on a decline over the past few years. Its sad, and it’s something that I fight every day of my life.

At the end of the day though, most people in DC are way to important to show interest in anything but themselves anyway. You can see examples of this all through our government.

I will remove my non-educated loud mouth self from my soapbox now.

benmarvin:

brienis:

fandomslut:

unicornzzzzz:

dirtypreston:

Def the top meme on the Kanye thing. It can all stop now.

pie0:

elefantastico:cmygeek everyone go home, this is clearly the superior meme.

this is important.

THIS WINS.

No one can ever beat this.

FUCKLULZ!

FTW!