October 2011
1 post
TWITTER GOD! →
She picked up her iPhone and looked me up on Twitter after my “friend” told her that I was funny. After fumbling around between each other on the spelling of my name she proclaimed loudly: “Wow,…
July 2011
1 post
Until it’s right. →
Netflix has some amazing documentaries, and the one on the AVN Awards was no exception. It was an “R-rated look at the X-rated industry.” The struggle to keep it factual and not drift into a…
June 2011
1 post
Wheel of Fortune and Death. →
TV is one of my best friends. It’s sad, I know, but the programs that I watch and the people on it just kind of get me, you know? Like when they have a beer, I go and get a beer. When they smoke, do…
May 2011
46 posts
Approaching the size of a bowling ball. →
I’m going against my better judgment to go into this story. There have been a lot of names from people – especially my wife – in the spirit of my “condition”. Names like “the uniballer”,…
Coming This Summer!
davio1962:
A cinematic blockbuster that focuses on 3 defrocked, government scientists who lead the efforts to fend off the attacks of a Zombie-Robot-Alien-Osama bin Laden that washes up on the shores of Miami.
Don’t miss: “You Can Call Me Al-Qaeda”!
(Also included: a stirring subplot involving the tepid love triangle among the 3 scientists, thereby giving the audience occasion to use the...
Grass isn’t always greener →
High and inside was always my pitch. Since I was never a big kid or an exceptionally strong kid, I would never hit a home run when my pitch came, not even a double. In fact, my standard hit was so…
Question for the fellas:
Given the opportunity, would you let medusa go down on you knowing that if you open your eyes you’ll turn to stone but if you don’t it could just be a dude with long hair? For this question let’s assume that the head would be legendary.
"Interglacial rappers come from the streets of Mos...
I just put this post up on Twitter. I know it’s pretty far out there, you have to REALLY know Star Wars to get this joke, and even if you do, it’s only mildly funny. It’s one of the rare tweets that I put up with out thinking about it too much.
I guess I could have worked more Star Wars perspective in like talking about Jedi’s, Jabba, or other, more recognizable features...
Martin Short's finest hour:
Respect.
The first quasi-true story I wrote about me.
I like to refer to the increasing size of my belly and my will to be thin again as the Battle of Middle Girth. Unlike the battles in Lord of the Rings where a queer elf, a dirty dwarf, an old queen in long white robes, and a group of retarded, hairy footed midgets could fight off the majority of an Orc army with rudimentary (at best) weapons, I use technology to help me win the fight. The newest...
Who is your Favorite Super Hero?
See, this is a good question, not the other “post this question to all of your people or your dick will fall off” BS I’ve been getting recently. Hmm… Favorite super hero. It’s a tricky question, to be honest. I mean, how do you rank them? If it’s by powers alone, you have to go with Superman. The ability to fly, by itself, is enough to pick him but then...
in the fade: the fake triumph of not liking... →
inthefade:
I don’t get the pride with which some people say “I don’t like [insert popular tv show/band/movie here]!” When someone puts this out in the internet I imagine them sitting at their computer, raising their fist in the air as they click the button that sends their opinion out to the world. Then they…
This resonates with me on two levels. One, it talks to my monkey wrench...
toomanypuppets asked: If you could do nothing to alter it, would you want to know the day of your death?
There were no female Jedis because they already...
This
Cleaning out the pipes. →
One of the things I learned during the hippie years was the art of drumming. The real art of drumming comes from making drums by tapping your hand on every day items like table tops, glasses full to…
Goodnight and remember, never play leap frog with...
shiraselko:
You’re welcome.
Fact.
And so it goes...
I was working on a post for my website today and I realized that I am part of the very last generation of kids that had to sneak over to the art section of book stores and libraries to find masturbation materials. I’m part of the last generation that will ever have had to use the sears lingerie section from the news paper in order to rub one out on the toilet. The power of the internet has...
One of my favorite very short stories I've... →
NBC News: Stealing thunder from US presidents for 30 years.
